Newt Gingrich Rally In Las Vegas Interrupted By Local Grindcore Band
Lol, umad Newt? I wasn’t there but I have a feeling that the band Traumatic Anal Devastation sounded a lot better than Gringrich’s babble for trying to get into office.
Diminished - A Jar Full of Vaginas
Not gonna lie, that’s a pretty gross name for a song. That’s ok though because this shit is pretty fucking brutal. The riffs are definitely fierce in this song.
The Map of Metal
Map of Metal
http://mapofmetal.com is a VERY interesting site. Personally, as a person who seriously looks deep into metal, where it came from, and the history behind it I found this website as an excellent way to spend my Wednesday evening.
The map itself is designed in chronological order, using chains to separate periods of time. There is a legend as well for the 4 types of skulls you will see, and each depicts a different meaning such as a root of a genre, the various actual metal genres, and fusion genres. VERY VERY interesting stuff here folks. This is for true metalheads who find it as a passion and not just something to listen to.
Lastly, note that Brutal Death has nothing stemming from it. Probably because it would kill any genre that would come after it.
How To Tell The Difference Between Metal Genres
* POWER METAL
The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted forest.
* THRASH METAL
The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princess and fucks her.
* HEAVY METAL
The protagonist arrives on a Harley, kills the dragon, drinks a few beers and fucks the princess.
* FOLK METAL
The protagonist arrives with some friends playing accordions, violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls asleep (because of all the dancing). Then all leave…….. without the princess.
* VIKING METAL
The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty axe, skins the dragon and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals her belongings and burns the castle before leaving.
* DEATH METAL
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess and kills her, then leaves.
* BLACK METAL
The protagonist IS the dragon, dwells in the heart of the night with in a castle full of hellhounds and eternal flames. He kills the sassy knight, fucks the noble steed and sacrifices the princess to Satan.
* GORE METAL
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in front of the castle, fucks the princess and kills her. Then he fucks the dead body again, slashes her belly and eats her guts. Then he fucks the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and fucks it for the last time.
* DOOM METAL
The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks he could never beat him, then he gets depressed and commits suicide. The dragon eats his body and the princess as dessert. That’s the end of the sad story.
* PROGRESSIVE METAL
The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26 minutes. The dragon kills himself out of boredom. The protagonist arrives to the princess’ bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques and tunes he learned in the last year of the conservatory. The princess escapes looking for the ‘HEAVY METAL’ protagonist.
* GLAM METAL
The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy’s appearance and lets him enter. He steals the princess’ make up and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink colour.
* NU METAL
The protagonist arrives in a run down Honda Civic and attempts to fight the dragon but he burns to death when his moronic baggy clothes catch fire.
* GRINDCORE
The protagonist arrives, screams something completely undecipherable for about two minutes and then leaves…
* Gothic Metal
The princess in a velvet costume starts singing soprano. The protagonist completes the duet when he shows up, they sing while the dragon plays the flute. Suddenly the dragon swallows up the pipe and accidentally scorches the beauty and the protagonist, and then he suffocates to death. All their souls are damned in hell for eternity.
* Industrial Metal
The protagonist arrives wearing greasy overcoat, makes an obscene gestures towards dragon, and gets escorted out of fairy tale land by security guards.
* Speed Metal
Suddenly there is a short solo, the dragon is confused; someone’s screaming weird stuff; the princess realizes she’s been deflowered; the dragon and the princess are still looking for the one who caused this.
* Christian Metal
The protagonist rides in on his way home from Church and sings a mushy power ballad to the dragon about how much Jesus loves him and that the dragon should turn to Him. The Dragon is immediately converted, and when the princess wants to ‘thank’ the protagonist he replies, “Sorry, but I don’t believe in having sex before marriage.”
* SYMPHONIC METAL
The protagonist enters the lair of the dragon with a full choir and orchestra, and the princess sings notes so high-pitched that she makes the dragon go deaf. The dragon tries to burn them all to death, but all of the members of the choir sing so loudly and unified, that it creates a protective bubble, which only grows in strength from the lead guitarist’s solo later in the song, and the flames bounce back and the dragon ends up killing itself while everyone escapes.
Nails - Conform/Scum Will Rise
This song is badass. They have a guitar tone that reminds me of Facebreaker and Demiurg. The great thing is they have the ferocity of Anaal Nathrakh too, resulting in an audible ass beating.
I’ll definitely say right now that this music is most certainly not for everyone.
wow I’m fucking retarded with the reblog feature.
Cephalic Impurity - Unique Brute Revival (2010)
Hailing from Russia, Cephalic Impurity is a band that makes you want to headbang at breakneck speeds. Russia really has a lot of insane death metal bands that nobody knows about, and same with India. All I can say is if you like your music brutal as hell then you will love this band. I’m not really sure what band I could say they’re similar to because they don’t have the technical aspect that a lot of bands have. It’s straight up brutal death metal. Maybe I could say they’re like Warder, which would make sense because Warder is from Russia as well!
Head on over to their facebook page and listen to 2 songs by them called Gruesome Splendour and Invasion. Go see what you think!
Dying Fetus - Kill Your Mother and Rape Your Dog
Best music video ever. Lyrics:
Kill your mother and rape your dog!
Fuck these corporations and their fucking record stores,
I don’t want my fucking paycheck feeding money whores
These bastards flood the market with their fabricated shit,
And laugh as this pathetic fucking music gets them rich…
Stay the fuck, right out of my life,
I don’t need your, fucking advice,
You don’t know what, our shit is all about,
So don’t even try to figure it out,
Fuck your spice girls and your fucking pearl jam,
Its all a bunch a shit, I say, fuck it,
Fuck your dave matthews and your fucking rem,
You god damned bitch, fucking clueless
Anaal Nathrakh - Passion (2011)
Oh what a special treat for all of you! The 2 piece monstrosity is at it again. Anaal Nathrakh’s new album titled Passion is being released tomorrow, May 17th, but it’s currently available as a stream thanks to Gun Shy Assassin. Yes, the entire album is there. I’m listening to it right now, and it sounds just like what you expect: horrifying.
Anaal Nathrakh has such a unique and identifiable sound. Masters of grindcore and nonstop brutality in their music, no doubt.
Aborted - The Archaic Abattoir (2005)
As you know, Aborted is awesome. Something about any band that has to do with fetuses all of a sudden is amazing (Dying Fetus, Aborted, Decrepit Birth…). Additionally, fuck you Osama Bin Laden!
Waking The Cadaver - Beyond Cops. Beyond God (2010)
Check out the fullsize pic of that album cover because it’s badass. An album cover like that is exactly what makes me go on Amazon to preview the songs.
Defacing - Sick Obsession (Need to be Hated)
Taken from their 2010 album Homicidal Satisfaction. Really good stuff to be heard here, unless you’re a sissy.
Benighted - Asylum Cave (2011)
Benighted is fucking brutal and amazing. My brother will not stop talking about this album. Also probably my favorite thing to come out of France.
Carcass - Keep on Rotting in the Free World
From their 1996 album Swansong. Such a good song, album, band.
